


I wanna tell you (but I don’t know how)

by seaunicorn



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beauyasha week, Beauyasha week 2020, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, First Kiss, fluff and violence, nobody dies don’t worry, now or never kiss, this is mostly fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seaunicorn/pseuds/seaunicorn
Summary: Beau was always the first to dive headfirst into conflict, but even she would admit that she didn’t think she would survive one more hit of that dragon’s icy breath.Beau and Yasha almost die.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 6
Kudos: 192





	I wanna tell you (but I don’t know how)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Beauyasha week! I was hoping to have a few fics to post this week but considering my motivation I’m just excited to have finished this one!
> 
> Note: Gelidon is the ancient white dragon the mighty nein faced in campaign 2 episode 75 with Reani.

Beau was always the first to dive headfirst into conflict, but even she would admit that she didn’t think she would survive one more hit of that dragon’s icy breath. The cold burned into her skin, making her limbs feel stiff and weak. She collapsed to her knees and looked up as the thick white wings flapped with a violent, roaring wind.

Sure, they had faced dragons before, but they were always ill-prepared and always found themselves running away so they wouldn’t die. And this time, Gelidon had kind of blindsided them.

Sure, maybe they deserved it for sneaking into her lair, stealing from her treasure, and baiting her for the iceflex of her breath weapon to fix that stupid sword. Dragons are known to hold grudges, after all. They just didn’t think she would actually leave her fortress to chase them down in this mountainous pass.

Veth was darting from crevice to crevice, trying to find a decent place to hide and firing from her crossbow; no one could catch sight of her for more than a few seconds at a time. Jester had teleported Fjord away when he went unconscious, so hopefully he was healed up by now. Caduceus was central in the battlefield, doing his best to keep everyone on their feet while barely hanging on himself. Caleb had been invisible since the start of the battle and miraculously was still nowhere to be found. Beau hoped it was a good sign she couldn’t see him. It meant he was still conscious, still concentrating on his spell.

It meant he wasn’t dead.

That left Beau and Yasha putting up most of the fight right now. Arguably they were the two most capable of going toe to toe with the dragon. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean they would succeed at it. Gelidon was massive.

Beau remembered her being gargantuan from their previous encounter. She thought that maybe it had been about perspective. Her lair was narrow and enclosed, and she towered over them as they cowered inside Caleb’s tiny hut just before they teleported out of there. Maybe it was the fear that made her seem bigger that day.

But no, out here, in the open, as she soared over the mountains and darted down to pounce and showered them with her icy breath, she was enormous.

And Beau didn’t admit this often, but she was fucking terrified.

As a melee fighter, it was hard to get a hit on Gelidon. She had her lightning punches charged up, but even then the range was pretty short. As Gelidon swooped down once again, Beau threw another punch in her direction, hitting her right in the side of the nose. She snarled and turned on Bea, lashing out with her tail. Beau tried to dodge out of the way, but the tail hit her right in the gut, slamming her against the cliffside. As she fell to the ground, her vision went dark for a moment, but suddenly Caduceus’ voice was in her ears and she shot back upright, into her fighting stance again. She gave him a quick nod of thanks before zeroing in on the dragon once again.

Yasha was having an even harder time than Beau, somehow. She held onto Gelidon’s back claws with one strong arm, while the other lashed out with the skin gorger. She scraped into her hind leg, black acid burning through the dragon’s thick, scaly hide.

Gelidon roared and thrashed her feet, sending Yasha flying directly at the ledge that Beau was already on. Beau dodged out of the way, ducking as Yasha’s hulking form came flying directly at her. Her back hit the mountain wall leaving a large cracked dent on the cliffside, and she fell to the ground.

“Yasha!” Beau rushed over and helped her to her feet.

“I’m okay,” Yasha said. She gave Beau a small smile and squeezed her arm, but then she looked over Beau’s shoulder and her eyes went wide. “Get down!” Yasha cried out, pushing Beau prone to the floor.

Beau felt the force of Gelidon’s leathery tail as it swung past her head and crashed into Yasha, throwing her against the rocky surface once again.

This time, Yasha stayed on her feet. This time, Beau had the chance to get a better look at her. Yasha looked rough. They all looked rough, but Yasha never usually looked this bad in a fight. She was haggard, bloody, weak. And yet, there was still a fiery determination behind her eyes, a will to fight that could never be torn down. It was one of the things Beau admired about her, and one of the things they had in common. The drive to fight to protect their friends. The two of them would likely keep fighting until they physically couldn’t anymore.

Beau would lay down her life for the rest of the Mighty Nein, and she knew Yasha would do the same. And maybe that’s what it would come to today.

Out of the corner of her eye, Beau saw Gelidon’s tail lash out again and Caleb flickered into existence as his invisibility wore off. Gelidon turned to the new target, a devious snarl on her face.

Caleb was pretty far away, but Beau could tell he couldn’t take another hit. She gave Yasha a quick, apologetic look, then stepped up to the edge of the cliff.

“HEY, FUCKFACE!” Beau shouted, her voice echoing off the mountainside.

Gelidon turned in her direction again, and Beau sent a lightning punch directly into her face. The ancient dragon shook off the blow like it was nothing, then gave a toothy glare in her direction and began to charge.

“I think you’ve made her angry,” Yasha muttered.

Beau laughed. She couldn’t help it. How Yasha managed to keep her stoic sense of humor in the middle of this fight when they were both very likely about to die, she would never know.

Caleb sent a bout of magic missiles at Gelidon, but she paid no mind to them, as though they were tiny mosquito bites in her side. Gelidon opened her toothy maw and as she inhaled, a soft blue glow began to emit from her mouth.

“Shit,” Beau cursed. She rushed behind a large boulder for cover, dragging Yasha behind it with her, knowing full well it wouldn’t do much good. “Looks like her cold breath is back.”

“How are you doing?” Yasha asked, looking at her out of the corner of her eye.

“Not great. You?”

“Same.”

Beau gritted her teeth as Gelidon closed in on them with the icy charge in her breath. There wasn’t much she could do at this point. Maybe Caduceus would have her back again. Maybe he would be going down in this blast too. But even if she went down, Gelidon seemed angry enough that she would make sure Beau stayed down.

“Beau?” Yasha said, her voice quiet, shaking.

Beau turned to look at her and there was something in her eyes that Beau had only seen a handful of times before: fear.

“Sorry for putting a target on your back too,” Beau muttered.

“No, it’s not that,” Yasha said quickly.

They heard Gelidon’s roar just beyond the boulder that covered them as she was about to unleash her icy breath that would likely lead to their demise. Beau shut her eyes tight, but instead of a chill so cold that it burned her up, freezing her from the inside out, she felt rough hands on her cheeks and cool, firm lips on her own.

Time seemed to freeze for a moment. Beau gasped in surprise, instinctively grabbing Yasha’s elbows to hold her close, but just as quickly as Yasha had kissed her, it ended.

Beau wrenched her eyes open and stared at her in surprise, and then realized the look she had seen in Yasha’s eyes a moment ago wasn’t fear, but love.

Sure, there had been moments in the past where Beau wondered if, maybe, Yasha felt… something. There were times when their eyes met and she felt like Yasha could see directly into her heart. There were little, offhand compliments Yasha gave her that made Beau’s palms sweat and her heart race and her cheeks flush. There were times it was just the two of them and Yasha seemed tense, quiet, and Beau struggled to find any words, afraid she might accidentally confess something she wasn’t ready to handle the repercussions of.

Maybe Beau shouldn’t overthink things so much. Maybe she should treat her feelings the way she treated everything else in life and face them head-on. They might die and Yasha used what could have been her last moment to kiss Beau. The thought sent a surge of warmth into her chest that spread all throughout her, down to her toes.

If they got out of this alive, Beau was going to make sure Yasha knew how she felt.

Time seemed to snap back to full speed and Beau suddenly became aware of the battle around them once again, but instead of a deadly, icy blast, Gelidon yelped in pain. Yasha and Beau exchanged a quick glance, then peered over the boulder to see Jester and Fjord jump down from a higher peak of the mountain, landing together on the dragon’s head. Jester’s hand glowed with green magical energy as she grasped at one of her horns, sending black necrotic damage shooting through her head. Gelidon roared, but before she could do anything, Fjord lunged for Jester, holding her tight, and the two of them disappeared with a loud crack of thunder.

The thunderous roar sent Gelidon’s head violently cracking backwards, and she began to flap her wings faster, struggling to stay upright. And then, her thrashing movements grew weaker and weaker until she was still, dead, falling down into the mountainous pass until there was a loud rumble beneath them that shook the entire vicinity as her body hit the ground.

“Holy shit,” Beau muttered.

“We’re alive,” Yasha breathed.

Beau glanced over at Yasha and realized she was still holding her by the elbows, still sitting so close. Yasha’s eyes flitted down to Beau’s lips before she shyly looked away. Beau wanted to lean in and—

“Everybody okay out there?” Caduceus’ voice called out over the loud wind. “Sound off!”

Beau gave Yasha a small, awkward smile, unsure of what to say, but she stood to her feet and held out a hand to help Yasha up too.

“We’re okay!” Beau called out. “Me and Yasha!”

“Jester and I are up here!” Fjord called out, his voice a little shaky.

Suddenly, Veth appeared out of nowhere, leapt across a large chasm and rushed to Caleb’s side. “CALEB, ARE YOU OKAY? DO YOU NEED A HEALING POTION?” She climbed onto Caleb’s shoulders and pulled out a healing potion, trying to shove it into his mouth, but Caleb just laughed and took the potion from her hands.

“I’m fine,” Caleb said. “We’re all fine.”

Everyone seemed to exhale simultaneously at his words. They were fine. They survived.

“Okay, everybody head down the mountain!” Caduceus called out. “We’ll reconvene on the ground and I’ll get started on a prayer of healing.”

“Ooh, dibs on making armor out of her scales!” Jester called out, then grabbed Fjord’s hand and they both vanished in a green puff of smoke as she teleported the two of them out of there.

“I can give everyone else a ride down, ja?” Caleb suggested, then without waiting for an answer, polymorphed himself into a giant eagle. Veth was already on his back, so he flew over to Caduceus and stopped for him to climb on as well.

“We’ll just, uh, wait up here!” Beau called out. Eagle-Caleb squawked in response, then took off down the side of the mountain.

When they disappeared, Beau turned to find Yasha, standing at the edge of the cliff, looking down to where Gelidon’s body disappeared. She seemed distant, wanting to close herself off. Beau took a step closer and Yasha’s head perked up, glancing at Beau over her shoulder.

“Beauregard, I—“ Yasha started, clearing her throat. “I am sorry about what… what happened earlier. I thought we might not make it this time and I didn’t want to die without you knowing I… anyway, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have—“

“Whoa, hey, Yash,” Beau interrupted. She grabbed Yasha’s arms and spun her around, feeling the toned muscles under her fingertips, and gave a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t apologize. I’m glad you did.”

“You are?” Yasha asked, surprised. Yasha’s multicolored eyes were wide and vulnerable, looking at Beau like she held the answer to everything. Beau shifted under her heavy gaze. No one ever looked at her like Yasha did. Beau always thought she was nothing special, but when Yasha looked at her like that, she felt like she could do anything.

Beau nodded. “I am,” she said. Then, using the confidence that Yasha had instilled in her with that kiss, she added, “I’d, uh, like to do it again, if that’s okay with you?”

Yasha swallowed and nodded quickly. Beau stood on her tiptoes, unable to close the distance herself, and waited a beat until Yasha met her halfway.

She leaned down and their lips met and without the threat of probable death looming over their heads, Beau allowed herself to sink into the kiss and fully enjoy the rough press of Yasha’s lips against her own, the way her firm hands grabbed her around the waist, holding her close.

Beau brought her hands up, fingers tangling in Yasha’s dark mane of curls, tugging her closer. She lost herself in Yasha until a loud squawk interrupted them. Startled, Beau and Yasha hastily jumped apart.

Eagle-Caleb sat, perched atop the boulder next to them, and Beau would swear she saw a cocky smirk on his beak.

Yasha blushed furiously, but Beau only glared at him. “What the fuck are you looking at?” she snipped.

Caleb squawked again. Beau flipped him off.

Beau climbed onto his back, grabbing his feathers to hold herself in place. A moment later, Yasha climbed on behind her, wrapping her arms securely around Beau’s waist, holding her close.

Beau tried to ignore the way Yasha’s arms felt like home. It was too soon to be thinking stupid, romantic thoughts like that. For now, she would just enjoy the warm feeling in her chest, encircled in Yasha’s arms.

They would have time to talk later. They had plenty of time ahead of them to be together.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been a while since I’ve written beauyasha so i hope you enjoyed! Feel free to follow on tumblr @elliesgaymachete and talk to me about critical role bc i miss it so much.


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